In this blog, Campden Beauty – winners of the 2021 Consumer Business of the Year Award, explain how the company is developing its offering, by opening a business called Reconnect & Thrive, which will help those who are struggling with difficult, and sometimes, violent relationships.

Introduction

Campden Beauty has been situated on the beautiful high street of Chipping Campden for 5 years now and offers a wide range of beauty therapies.

My name is Jane Brown and I own and run Campden Beauty. I have been a holistic beauty therapist for 28 years. It’s been my passion all this time, as I’m a huge advocate of emotional well-being and self-care. And I also love the connection I have with the people I serve.

I was delighted to win the Consumer Business of the Year Award in 2021 because it is voted for by a businesses’ customers – and whilst I receive great feedback from my clients on an individual basis, to be recognised in a more public manner is extremely fulfilling.

When you step into Campden Beauty you enter a welcoming, calm, tranquil atmosphere, which one of my clients refers it to as a little gem – a place where you will instantly feel relaxed, and the stresses of everyday life will immediately begin to fall away.

Holistic Self Care

In these busy times, it’s so important to take time out for yourself and to focus on your own needs. I don’t see what I do as pampering, it’s self-care, which is not selfish care!

As the saying goes “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. Over the years I have become aware that I’m treating people in an external way, but the real work, the real self-care, needs to be done internally.

I strongly believe beauty comes from within and when you love yourself and are at peace with yourself the beauty shines from within. That to me is true self care.

Campden Beauty is a place where individuals come to de-stress and unwind, and to come to escape the troubles of the life challenges they are facing. I also see how beauty therapy increases self-esteem and self-worth – and from this I have decided I would like to provide an even deeper level of self-care.

Many of my clients share their personal struggles with me, and this has led me to train as a life coach with the Jay Shetty Certification School and to launch a new business called Reconnect & Thrive.

Launching Reconnect and Thrive

The last two years have been a struggle for many people. The lockdowns have not only caused financial anxiety, but have also increased the psychological stress for many, and one consequence of this has been the significant rise in domestic violence.

Reconnect & Thrive will provide those who have suffered at the hands of abuse a way of getting their lives back together. This is done by rebuilding and reconnecting to their strengths, values and beliefs, so they can return to their true self.

What people need to understand that domestic abuse, is not just violence. It’s worse.

It’s a unique phenomenon in which the perpetrator takes advantage of their partners love, trust and uses a person’s most intimate details, their deepest desires, their shames, and their secrets as a blueprint for their abuse.
What should surprise us about domestic abuse is not that an individual can take a long time to leave, but that they have the mental fortitude to stay for so long?

The length of abuse experienced before some access support is an average 6 years. Just think about that for a moment.
We need to stop saying why didn’t she leave? Instead, we should ask, why did he do it?

Many individuals who are dominated and controlled, and don’t report the abuse they’re suffering, because they think without proof of physical violence the police won’t help them, and sadly they are often right.

How big is the problem?

Police reports show that domestic abuse is one of the UK’s most serious law and order problems. Every hour in the UK the police receive more than 100 calls related to domestic abuse.

Let’s talk some more figures from the Women’s Aid Domestic Abuse Report:

• in 2020 – 2021 it is estimated that 124,000 women reached out to community-based domestic abuse services – and these are just the ones who have reported a problem, so many are suffering ‘underground’.
• 60% of those suffering domestic abuse had children
• 88% of the reported cases were of emotional abuse
• 67% jealous and control behaviour
• 94.33% of the perpetrators were male
• 37.6% needed support for mental health issues

These are frightening statistics and in the aftermath of the lockdowns they are only going to get worse.

Handling Abuse

There are typically six ways women rationalise their abuse.
Firstly, they think they can fix it – they convince themselves that their abuser is deeply troubled and needs a strong woman to get better.

Or they decide, it’s not really him- it’s the drugs, drink, mental illness, unemployment….the list goes on.
They might explain to themselves that it’s easier to try and forget – the knowledge that their partner has intentionally hurt them can be so inconceivable, some refuse to acknowledge it.

Their attention goes getting back to normal, even while evidence of cuts bruises are still visible, the routine of life daily life soon overrides the strange confusing memory of the attack.

And some even convince themselves it’s partly their fault – they believe the abuse will stop if they work out how to change their own behaviour, how to be more passive, agreeable, more sensitive to their partner needs.

No way out

There is nowhere for many women to go, it’s just not possible to leave, they have no alternative accommodation, and often no money. Some may believe no one will love them and find the prospect of being alone awful. Until death do us part….

Other women are determined to endure the relationship no matter what because they see it has their duty to God, or to the notion of family and tradition.

Women can spend months or even years of their entire life rationalising the abuse they are suffering. To distract them from the unbearable reality they may turn to drink, drugs or develop an eating disorder. Many self-harm, or become addicted to shopping or gambling – anything that provides a psychological escape from the abuse.

And most sadly of all – as long as victims are rationalising their abuse, they will commonly refuse help.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 0808 200 0247